The tides never stops.

     You know how the waves slam the surface of the beach, it never ends, a cycle that goes on till forever. At a certain angle of the eye, it probably is one of the most beautiful sight ever but on an opposite angle it could only mean otherwise. Sounds ridiculous much? Probably it does but not to my eye. The emotion is beyond sick, it has reach the point of hurtful. All I feel isn't temper or frustration. It pricks each time. Each time the tide slams my comfortable and cozy life, it hurts, it finds the right moment and unleashes its brutality on it leaving viewers a pleasant sight of life. Time to time it never fails to implant the thought of "that really is who you are, just another individual made to be laughed at".
      Frankly, what wrong have I done to face all this? I'm not talking as if I'm the only one in this world to have face all this, I'm very well aware of the worst things that may have happened to different individuals but it really makes me ponder a lot. Growing up listening to words like "ugly", "weird" and whatnot creates arrogance and cockiness in an individual or at least that is the effect on me. Its not like I do not realize where my physical appearance stand but do I really need constant reminders? Every time I brush it off, it appears nothing more like a short time snooze. There is only so much a heart, size of a fist could absorb, only so much the tears could well up around the edges of the eye, beyond that, one becomes nothing but an emotionless being. May be it all has its purpose, I wouldn't know but I really do hope I have what it takes to continue fending off these ugly tides in my life. All that I wish for, someone that realizes that behind this ugly persona, lies a character that perhaps, just perhaps isn't half bad.

       Till then, for all the hurt that is to come and that has come, I guess I'll just have to face it.

Again...

     Again, I'm feeling it all over again. Honestly, it's just a seed planted. I'm not sure on what soil I've seeded on but I'm enjoying every minute of it.I had fun, I honestly had a lot of fun talking and laughing  and taking short glances at how your eye keep running around trying to hide in what you were probably feeling. An hour was nothing but a breeze and how much time was condemned in my heart, only time would know. At this point, all I want is to know you and become a small part of your life, create a small little memory and sleep to the blissful thoughts. Our acquaintance was not a pleasant one, all that gripped me was guilt for throwing such rudeness and temper at you, all to realize how you smiled it off sweetly with much fear in your eye. Yes, you sweet little miss, I noticed fear and confusion in your eye. Admirable and somehow that incident stole a little piece of me. :)), you are just another girl in this cruel,rude spinning world and that makes me turn my head around looking for you every single time I step out that huge glass door. Sweet, cheeky and simple in your own ways. Pretty little miss, just so you know, you are much adored by this guy. :))

whaddup!!

     Whaddup!! Street much? Lolz! I have pretty much always been the street style dude with a touch of class. Vain much? Possibly, but I like it. ;-). Things have been under the better light lately minus the heck load of assignments given with excruciatingly short deadlines. Yes, I somehow have a perception that my lecturers choose to show their superiority and their extensive knowledge through their assignments. Don't understand me? I'll break it to a simpler language. See, its a short semester. We have approximately about 8 weeks? You expect us to complete a research paper. Fair enough, it is part of the program, no argument on that but do you have to expect day-to-day deadlines? If that isn't enough, you expect degree level perfection and to top off the creamy sauce, you slam us outright with no mercy on our assignments. See, I totally get the fact that it is your job to educate us but do not mix it with your current experience.
      We all are aware your doing your degree but we are after all diploma students and we are yet at the level to hit your par. Quotes such as, "izit my problem?" or "u felers noe how much work i hafta do anot??" is not in any form helpful to us. It only shows your arrogance and your misuse of power. 8 weeks. That's fairly a lot of time for a little loose bolts. Instead you choose to be so uptight and press us to our max, resulting in some of us, in this case it would be me to start cutting classes and whatnot. You think your attitude prevails? You try ringing me up when I'm not at college? What exactly plays behind your mind when you rung me up? That I would answer, freak out and run to college? I am a grown 21 year old adult. Yes, immature I may be but adult I am. Frankly, I do not really care what you might say or do cause it is beyond your payroll. Oh, by the way, your green notes are forked out of my parents pockets.
      A lecturer is supposed to be a role model, a guide, a reputable figure among his/her students and I, unfortunately do not perceive you as any of the above. All I have is, to a certain extent annoyance and dislike. You make fun of my hair in front of the whole class. Now, I'm pretty much sure you're not paid for that aren't you? You think you look any better? If assignments are not enough, your criticism towards me is some sort like an extra bonus I did not sign up for. I thought those sort off bullshit ends at high school, never knew it goes on even at tertiary level education. Guffawing it all is just my way of keeping the respect towards your profession but someday when I loose it and mark my words, it will, you'll regret even picking on me.
      If the lecturer is demotivating enough, a certain comments by some classmates aren't any good. All I hear from them is an extra force that wants me to do things against my own will. It's not like that  can't see it is for my good but what I'm really looking for is,someone who steps up for me and says, "go do it man, even if it sucks i'll still rawk it out with you!!". I guess you just don't get everything sometimes.
       Well, if it is discouraging at college, at least out-of-college life seems to have hope and much encouragement. It really is too soon to actually blog about it but I will do it with much details soon. Let's just say, you pretty little miss, I'm adoring you totally. :))